I’m one of the millions of fantasy football players that dot this landscape called America. I play the free leagues for fun, no money involved. One day, while I was so cleverly adjusting my lineup for the following week, it occurred to me. What if we elected and managed congress like we do our fantasy teams? Would it look like this?
Fantasy Congress League rules:
1. Keeper leagues- There will be no “keepers” from one season to another. Once you have drafted (elected) and used a player (congressman/woman) for the season that player will not be eligible for another season, ever. Think term limits.
2. Trades- If during the season you feel the urge to trade one of your players, no one could blame you. However, that player would have to sit out for their new team until after the next recess is over. Since there are longer recesses than sessions, that would limit the amount of damage that player could do for the poor owner that agreed to take him/her.
3. Waivers- Players that were not selected (elected) in the draft (election) would be put out on waivers. If an active player (incumbent) were to perform poorly, a very real scenario indeed, a player from the waiver wire could be selected to fill that position. Needless to say, the “dumped” player would have no more eligibility, ever.
4. Make up of teams- Each team shall consist of 9 players made up as follows: Seven congressmen/women, two senators. No more than two congressmen/women from the same state, and the senators must be from different regions of the country. No player who has been convicted of bribes, sex offenses or DUI’s will be eligible (on the ballot), ever. In the interest of having a pool big enough to select from, those with indictments without a conviction may be ruled eligible after careful review by the league commissioner (me). If still deemed ineligible they will not be in the draft pool again, ever.
5. Points will be awarded to teams based on voting records of the team’s players during the season. For example: Votes to lower taxes (touchdown) – plus 6 points. Votes to increase taxes (fumble) – minus 6 points. Listening to the will of constituents (field goal) – 3 points. Voting for legislation that 70% of the country doesn’t want (sack) – minus 3 points. Just showing up for a vote at all (extra point) – 1 point. You get the idea.
6. Super bowl – There will be no super bowl. Even fantasies have their limits!
Next blog: “Survivor” – Washington, D.C.