>Something else to add to the list of things I should never attempt……

>

It was going to be a typical day of babysitting my 7 year-old granddaughter Cece. She was coming over so her parents and sister could go shopping. I expected  the usual games to pass the time:  First, “Waitress” Cece, complete with computer designed menu and serving a pretend meal. Then it would be “Doctor Cece”, checking my blood pressure, listening to my heart and telling me I needed to lose weight. She just loves that part! Then it would be playing keep away with Queenie our Labrador. Queenie, by the way, never thinks for a minute that we are quick enough to keep that rubber bone from her gaping jaws and she’s right. So, I figured, piece of cake babysitting job, right?

That was all before Cece discovered the “make a Gingerbread House” kit that my wife had purchased for a Christmas gift but never used. Drat, I thought I had hidden that where even Cece’s keen radar would never find it. But, alas, out she came with the biggest smile you ever saw, mostly because of all the bags of candy that were with it to be put on the house. With great trepidation I unwrapped the package and started reading the directions. I was sure I would conquer this craft and be a hero in her eyes.

Sure enough it looked like a no brainer! I wondered for a minute how this kit creator knew that I had no brain. Anyway, the directions were simple and it even had a fixture to set the ginger bread pieces in to start the build. And the icing was provided that would act like glue and hold it all together. You’re thinking to yourself, no one could mess this up. You’d be wrong.

Looking over all the pieces representing the walls and roof, we began assembling the house when I discovered that the manufacturer had made a grievous error. The side walls were too long and wouldn’t fit into the fixture. How could this happen? Didn’t they know this poor child would be terribly disappointed at their carelessness? Going immediately into rescue mode I summoned all my powers of invention and decided to just cut the walls down until they fit into the fixture correctly. Cece was amazed at my genius. About the time I got that done was when I realized that I hadn’t been dealing with the walls at all, but rather the roof parts. Oops. Now I had no choice but to make the remaining wall parts into a roof. By this time, Cece’s look of amazement had changed to something more quizzical . I’m not really sure what she was thinking but the expression had kind of a “I’ve put my life in the hands an idiot” look to it.

My solution was to add extra icing, lots of extra icing, to make up for what was going to be the gaps in the roof. To make a long story short (I know, too late), we got the house assembled long enough for Cece to put some candy decorations on it. Shortly after that, it came crashing down like a California cliff side dwelling.

To every story, there is a moral. In this case: “never send a grandpa to do a grandma’s job”! Not one to waste a valuable lesson, I’m now taking an online course titled ” Everything you’ve always wanted to know about Barbies”. I’ll be ready next time.

The objective
 

                                                 Resignation
 

                                                    The result

                                            

Advertisements

About Al

Retired from a couple of professions, trying my hand at writing about the events in our lives.
This entry was posted in Family, Humorous and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to >Something else to add to the list of things I should never attempt……

  1. Barbara says:

    E numbers, always watch out for E numbers!!

  2. Bernice G says:

    >The pictures tell it all, but your commentary is icing on the cake, or the gingerbread house. Absolutely fantabulous!

  3. Big Al says:

    >Me? Chaucer? Don't you remember, I cut all those classes.

  4. Cindy B says:

    >I didn't know that but I hope it's true…what did Chaucer say…about the "giftie gie us, to see ourselves as ithers see us"…not spelled correctly..don't have that textbook any more..do you remember how it goes…?

  5. Big Al says:

    >That's one of the things I like about you Cindy, you see the glass as half full. Thanks.

  6. Cindy B says:

    >That is SO funny…is she throwing something at you in the second picture? You have cheered me up and even my sore throat is going away! Those kits are miserable! As they used to tell me at the Literacy Center when I'd get frustrated (at not being able to get my students to attempt speaking English), "It's time spent together that's important." I think your granddaughter will remember this day forever!

Your turn to write, but please don't be wittier than me. My ego is quite fragile.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s