An open letter to “Freshly Pressed”……

I wasn’t going to say anything, but I was egged on by today’s prompt “Picture the one person in the world you really wish were reading your blog. Write her or him a letter.” Here goes:

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

To: Exalted Grand Poobah of Freshly Pressed
c/o WordPress.com
Somewhere in cyberspace

Fm: Your lowly and unworthy subscriber, Big (but feeling very little) Al

Subj: My continued and conspicuous absence from FP

What’s the deal? Was it something I said? Something I didn’t say? I have been blogging for over two years and have yet to get even a pitiful morsel of praise from your heavenly fathers (and mothers) at FP. I have read and reread the helpful hints that you so graciously provide for qualifying to become one of the blessed. For the most part, I have followed them to the letter.

I wouldn’t mention it if all the other posts were adhering to them too, but a goodly number of the selected FPs violate those guidelines and still they are published. I read one recently that was about 10 paragraphs, single-spaced, droning on about some inane subject that only a poor soul incarcerated in solitary confinement could appreciate reading. And it and many others transgress one of your cardinal principles, that is, pictures, pictures, pictures! (see the gratuitous and self-promoting photo at end of this post).

OK, to be honest, I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to writing, but surely the law of averages suggests that at least one of my posts accidentally produced enough interest to achieve a higher readership. And lest you think I have a martyr complex, several posts that I follow which are of superior quality to my own have been woefully neglected by you as well. I mean, c’mon!

As I said, I wasn’t going to bring it up, but in the future, when the intellectual powers that be at WordPress FP gather together to beatify a subscriber, please just put away the dartboard and actually read one of my posts. If not for me, then at least for my poor sweet wife who thinks the sun rises and sets on me.( see below)

Sincerely,
Your pal, Big Al

P.S. I’m guessing this post won’t make the cut either, huh?

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About Al

Retired from a couple of professions, trying my hand at writing about the events in our lives.
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49 Responses to An open letter to “Freshly Pressed”……

  1. LOL! I’ve been doing this blogging thing for 3 years and still waiting for my FP-ed badge. I’ve seen other bloggers who just add one photo get FP-ed, I’ve also seen other posts with profane language get FP-ed. Maybe I should start swearing more. 😉

    • Al says:

      Have you tried writing about the time you forgot to brush your teeth one morning? Those seem to be the hot topics that make the cut.

      In fact, I’m currently working on a blog about the time I went all day with a shoelace untied. Look for this riveting account in the near future. There will be a photo of the actual untied shoelace! FP here I come.

  2. Pingback: The ‘Never Been Freshly Pressed’ Club | As iAge

  3. Pingback: Press Release from the NBFP | As iAge

  4. Margie says:

    I’m working on a post that will list your blog, and a few others, and mine (of course) that have never been Freshly Pressed. I can’t tell you anything more than what I’m going to suggest in the post… because I haven’t finished it yet…

  5. I agree with you Al. Of course I have not been FP’d, but I don’t know how to add pictures so there is no chance of CD getting even a second or third pressing. I have, of course offered to send them the necessary pictures under seperate cover, plus my grandmother’s recipee for lemon tea cake, but I’ve not had a response as yet.

  6. Jodi Stone says:

    You know well what a big beef of mine this is. I’ve never been pressed either and while I admit, I am not as witty as you are, I have had some insanely thought provoking posts!! I haven’t been able to figure it out at all. For goodness sake, one of the FP’s I saw was just picutres, gratutious pictures of little puppies, the nerve!! I say we start our own freshly pressed and the PTB at WP/FP be damned!!

    Oops, sorry Big Al, I’m climbing down now. But I think you should have been pressed.

  7. Coming East says:

    Well said, Al! Some of the blogs making the FP page are poorly written with numerous grammatical errors, too. When some of the incredibly intelligent blogs like yours and Stacia’s don’t get recognized, then I tend to think, as others have said, the WordPress just pulls a few out of a hat to give attention to. They’ve lost all credibility with me.

  8. pegoleg says:

    Someone who has a wife who thinks the sun rises and sets in him shouldn’t be greedy. But you’re right- your stuff more than deserves the FP. Oh gods of FP make it rain accolades all up in this blog!

  9. You had me laughing out loud with this line, Al: “I read one recently that was about 10 paragraphs, single-spaced, droning on about some inane subject that only a poor soul incarcerated in solitary confinement could appreciate reading.”

    That you haven’t been Freshly Pressed is a mystery to me, too. Why I was is also a mystery. Perhaps I shall consult my spirit guides….

    • Al says:

      As far as I’m concerned you should get FPd every week. As for me, truth be told, I’d be shocked and lose respect for FP if any of my claptrap appeared. It’s like Woody Allen once said: ” I wouldn’t want to belong to any club that would have someone like me as a member.”

      • Oh, come on, Al. It’s very rare that I burst out laughing at something I read and I burst out laughing at that line. That happens a lot when I read your posts. You’re just being humble…

    • I’m glad you were Lorna. At least one decent blog I follow got the honour.

  10. Hermionejh says:

    What a great picture. You both look so lovely, I’d Freshly Press you just for the photo! I hope you get Freshly Pressed, and I feel the same way. I’ve been blogging for 2 years, and nary a glance from WP Fresh Press. Sigh. Maybe we’re Freshly Op-pressed? Cheers, Al! 🙂

  11. Hi there! I’m new to your blog, and I loved this post you wrote. A previous reader said that FP gets you lots of attention for a very brief time. It does. I was FPed shortly after I started blogging here, for a piece I really wasn’t very proud of, didn’t think was very good, and truthfully, probably never should have been written or published in the first place. I have since removed it from my blog. I got tons of hits for two days, and like your previous reader said, most of those folks never returned to my blog. I found you through the Daily Prompt Challenge, which I participate in as often as I can. This has been the best tool so far that I have found for finding new friends who appreciate my type of oddball writing. I have two friends who were pressed this week, and both of them spent two days doing little more than answering comments from total strangers, while they’re regular readers stayed away in droves. I much prefer the back and forth with my regular gang, but of course, there is always room for one more. Always nice to find a new blog too. Like yours. 🙂

    • Al says:

      Hi cheeky! So glad you dropped in to join our little clan. As I have said in a few of my comment responses, I am more than happy to enjoy the company of the group of writers that I have found common ground with. I have nothing against strangers (other than that they can be so strange sometimes) but love the repartee with my “true” readers. I hope you’ll visit some of them, they are an eclectic group but full of inspirational thoughts and/or hilarious humor.

      I look forward to reading your blog and sharing some future writings with you.

      • Why thank you. I hope to not be a stranger for long, but I do hope to remain strange. It’s just what I do. If you read me, you will come to discover this in very short order. 🙂

  12. misswhiplash says:

    it’s top of the list for me Big Al and the photo of you and Mrs Big Al is really beautiful. I’d vote for you!

  13. winsomebella says:

    You took the words right out of my…….fingers, I guess. Except I finally decided I would simply ignore FP just like they ignore me. It seems easier that way 🙂 GREAT pic Al!

    • Al says:

      They ignore you at their own peril. They and other potential readers are missing some of the most beautiful words and pictures ever matched together. Give a big hey to John.

  14. If you click on the Facebook symbol at the bottom of your blog, your post will show up on your FB page. Maybe they will notice you there.

    PS I don’t even know what FP is, do you?? Dianne

    • Al says:

      I have done this before on my FB page. But since I don’t have a great number of friends (by choice), it doesn’t increase my readership by much. But it’s the same with WP. I like the manageable number of followers and blogs I follow. I think I have selected some of the best writers out there (like you) and can enjoy them more when I don’t have to read a couple hundred posts each day.

  15. Can I sign this petition? So many FPed posts break their own rules that you have to wonder if they just stick a pin in the screen when they select.

    I would stick a pin in you, Al.

    😀

  16. Bernice says:

    What is Freshly Pressed? Enlighten us unenlighteneds. Do they give you money? Or is it glory only? Whatever they are. Good blog.

    • Al says:

      It’s their way of giving special recognition. Your blog post is published on their front page so many, many more readers get to view it and get familiar with your blog. It’s not a big deal but everyone likes to pick on them for some of their selections.

  17. pattisj says:

    Keep trying, Al. Great picture of you two.

  18. May not get FP but an enjoyable read!

  19. RaRee says:

    This is why I refuse to blog…I cannot stand rejection! But you keep blogging. This is hilarious.

  20. vickiebov says:

    LOVE IT!

  21. Pseu says:

    Freshly pressed isn’t all it’s cracked up to be…. no really. I wouldn’t want it… Really. NO REALLY. Thank of all the work entailed in replying to all those new visitors who may never come by again. Pah!

  22. Wish there was a love button for this post – I’d hit it in a second – you’ve captured what I’m sure many of us feel. Since I’ve only been at this a bit over five months, I guess I’ll stop holding my breath for the FP Gods or Goddesses to notice me.

Your turn to write, but please don't be wittier than me. My ego is quite fragile.

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