No more Mr. Nice Guy……

CUR-MUDG-EON n. Definition: 1. “A crusty, irascible, cantankerous old person full of resentment.” 2. “An ill-tempered old man.”

Curmudgeon

That’s right, I’m converting to a curmudgeon! After years and years of being forgiving to nasty and discourteous people and making excuses for their bad behavior, I’ve finally turned the corner. This year I celebrated my 70th birthday. Unbeknownst to most, that is the age at which one may officially become a curmudgeon. Aging has to have some benefits, doesn’t it?

We are a select group, unencumbered by accepted mores of tolerance and understanding. Our motto, “we calls ’em as we sees ’em”, reverberates in our hearts, our minds and most importantly, in our voices! No more trumped up exculpations such as “boys will be boys” or “they might be having a bad day” or “I’m sure he/she didn’t realize how that hurt my feelings.” No, from now on, if you’re acting like an a-hole, you are an a-hole. Life is too short for me to run interference for your sorry butt.

So beware. If you cut me off in traffic; if you bump into me and don’t say you’re sorry; if you ignore me when I speak to you; if you are unpleasant when you serve me; if you tell me you will do something and you don’t; if you say anything untoward to me or are just generally acting in a contemptible manner to others, you will feel the wrath of my curmudgeonliness.

Forewarned is forearmed.

FEAR THE CURMUDGEON!

(Disclaimer: If anyone should threaten me with bodily harm as a result of my new-found curmudgeonhood, they will immediately be given the benefit of the doubt and I will revert back to your sweet, lovable, understanding old pal, Al)

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About Al

Retired from a couple of professions, trying my hand at writing about the events in our lives.
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48 Responses to No more Mr. Nice Guy……

  1. ksbeth says:

    hi al, thanks for reading and following. i look forward to reading more from you and go curmudgeon!

    • Al says:

      Thanks, beth. It takes a deep thinker to really appreciate the nuances of curmudgeonhood. And considering my last name, it was a natural fit.

  2. Barbara says:

    I don’t know how I missed this post! We have a few TV programmes over here you would love, the first is over now but is called One Foot in The Grave…. Well worth looking out for an episode or two if you can find any on you tube…. The second more recent is called Grumpy Old Men, and they even have a book out.

    Peter has just found out he is going to be a grandad next March. He would like to be called Gramps, but my girls have christened him Grumps. He has been yelling Gerroff My Land!!! since he was a teenager 🙂

    Children however see through him, and just laugh when he pretends to be annoyed and go sit on him… Although mine are still unsure if he would actually eat their toes!!

    • Al says:

      Do you know if they are having cast tryouts for “Grumpy Old Men?”

      Congrats to Peter. If you think he is a pushover for kids now, just wait til he’s a grandpa. He will become a real cupcake!

  3. The Cutter says:

    I’m only 36, but I wanna be a curmudgeon now! Cause I can’t stand the kids with their twerking and their Justin Biebers!

  4. Some how, I think “no more Mr nice guy” won’t work for you anymore than it is working for David. Some people just don’t have what it takes to be nasty. Dianne

  5. Dear Al, you are so sweet 🙂 x

  6. Love the pic! I’m getting to that stage sooner than I thought 🙂

  7. pattisj says:

    Great photo of you! Got to watch out for those neighborhood kids, Al.

  8. pegoleg says:

    That’s my favorite shot of you – the one where you’re yelling at the neighborhood kids to “get off my damn lawn, &^%$#!”

    “trumped up exculpations” – very elegant, Professor Al.

    • Al says:

      You must have known, Peg. Unfortunately, the neighbors kids were the first ones to threaten to beat me up, so I ended up apologizing to them. (with various exculpations)

  9. Bernice says:

    I’ll believe it when I see it.

  10. Coming East says:

    Best picture of you ever! And good for you for refusing to put up with unpleasant people! I usually just go home and stew about it, but it’s good to know that in a few years I will be able to stand up to these people.

    • Al says:

      Since you are a good friend, but way too young, I’ll see about getting you an honorary membership. George, being the baby of the group, will have to wait another year.

  11. Elisa says:

    giggles and guffaws

    I had a few of these moments this morning.
    I wasn’t my best.
    I have crap allll over my side of the street, and the hose has a hole in it.
    WHYYYYYYYYYYYY is it that I can only see the crummitude AFTER?!?
    sigh

  12. Cindy B says:

    You’re in good company…I’ve been a curmudgeonette for a few years now. I’m tired of people hugging my rear bumper, swerving, shining their bright blue headlights into my eyes, swerving, running red lights, passing me on the right…and that’s just on the road. All the rest of the twerps are in WalMart. I think yellow labs are much nicer, and I think you’d agree.

    • Al says:

      Abso-frickin-lutely, Cindy! Thanks for giving me my new credo “More labs, less people!”

      As your reward, you may cuss out the next person who cuts in front of you in line and says, “I just have quick question for the clerk.”

  13. RaRee says:

    Personally, I can’t wait to piss you off and see the new Al….grrrrrr. You go tiger!

  14. misswhiplash says:

    How l agree with you Al..l am now 74 and like you l have come to the conclusion that enough is enough and that life is too short to take the bad manners, bad thoughts and behaviour which the modern generation considers to me the norm. I speak what l feel, I say what I want and if someone don, t like it…….hard luck

  15. Jane Thorne says:

    I understand, yet I see beyond the ‘label’ and Al, my lovely, did you ask Patty before you borrowed her hat?? Xx

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