Keyboard dyslexia? I think not!

The devil's spawn

The Devil’s spawn

In the past I have posted a couple of times of how I suffer from keyboard dyslexia. While I have no problem with reading or writing long-hand, when it comes to typing my posts, I seem to have more words highlighted by the spell checker than not.

Always quick to take the blame, I recently discovered that “KD” is, in fact, NOT the culprit. It’s within the keyboard itself. There are word gremlins living in it. No, I’m not schizophrenic, there really are fiendish creatures in between the keys. What’s more, I’ve figured out who they are and how they manage to create typing havoc.

First, there’s the “m” and “n” bandits. They are insanely jealous of each other. So often, whenever I type an “n” it comes out as an “m” and vice-versa. You would think that two letters, always nestled next to each other in the middle of the keyboard, not to mention the alphabet, would have learned to live harmoniously together by mow. But mo, they have to nake it difficult for ne.

Then there is the “teh” monster. Always lurking around the keyboard waiting for an unsuspecting typist to use one of the most-used words in the language, “the”. This creature somehow delights in making my blog life a living hell. Teh worst part about is that they are probably they are teh easiest keys to reach on teh whole keyboard.

But most insidious of all the imps inhabiting my Logitech are the elf triplets they’re, their and there. I know exactly which meaning I want to convey, but no sooner do I type it correctly than they switch places, chuckling with great merriment (this originally came out nerrinemt, but I caught those little m and n buggers this time). They’re certainly must be reasons for there doing this, but their known only to them.

Anyway, if any of you are experiencing this with your keyboard, I would love to hear from you. I understamd their are support groups that we could all attemd. Teh neetings nay help us femd off these insidious denons and lessem there affect om us. See you they’re!

EPILOGUE: In the spirit of truth-in-blogging, I must reveal that my sweet wife thinks my problem is with a grungy keyboard as a result of irresponsible eating while I am typing, plus failure to clean and maintain it. She used it the other day and swears an insect crawled out of it. But who are you going to believe, a non-blogger or your old pal, Al? On second thought, don’t answer that.

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About Al

Retired from a couple of professions, trying my hand at writing about the events in our lives.
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30 Responses to Keyboard dyslexia? I think not!

  1. You can definitely see your enthusiasm within the work you write.
    The world hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not
    afraid to mention how they believe. Always follow your heart.

  2. I have a ‘teh’ monster! It seems to lurk in every keyboard I use.

  3. I’m not coming to any view who to believe until that insect has been apprehended and interviewed: only he/she/it has the inside information on this problem. My keyboard is also rude, and keeps getting all the letters mixed up, and typing in CAPITALS

    • Al says:

      That’s exactly what I would have expected from you ducks. And that’s why Scotland Yard is so famed throughout the world for solving these types of cases. It must be difficult for gremlins in England, although I in no way am discounting the scourge currently infecting your keyboard. Tell me, is keyboard invasion a CAPITAL crime over there?

  4. Sane thing happrms to ne, Zl. If I dom’t spell chek my work, poople must tink I cme frome Latvia and haven’t quite grotten the hang of Emglish. But I thought it was vecause they took out a humk of my braim. .)

    • Al says:

      I knew it! You’ve managed to get a book published and get many more followers than me with half your brain tied behind your back (or in your dresser or where ever you keep it). Not to mention you’ve learned to speak Latvian.

      • Unlike bullets and gall stones, the brain surgeons don’t offer us patients the option of keeping our grey matter. They probably keep it. I bet they are building a super brain in a lab somewhere. But the joke is on them. My little contribution is going to make Mr. or Ms. Amalgam very dizzy!

  5. Margie says:

    Irresponsible eating! I think not. You likely have the same gremlins who put a scorpion in my dryer…

    • Al says:

      Now that must have been a sight! I know I would have jumped right through the ceiling. I recommend hanging your clothes out on the line whenever you stay in Arizona.

      • Margie says:

        Fortunately the little critter had been in there long enough to be just an exoskeleton… I think there must be a Halloween joke in this somewhere…

        • Al says:

          I loathe scorpions. I think they are the creepiest looking creature on the planet. And that’s saying something. Anything that has weapons at both ends and can run equally fast forwards, backwards and sideways gets my vote as scariest, Halloween or not.

  6. Barbara says:

    Lol, this is exactly what my posts look like before my spell checker comes in and helps… unless i’m typing on my iPad, then its impossible! iPads automatically run words into each other and then corrects the result so that this sentence looks like
    ‘iPad sauté mathematical run word sin teach it horse’

    And there ids NO food on my iPad keyboard! Gremlins are real.

  7. My new Mac corrects misspelled wods lost as fast as I type them. Well that is if it recognizes the word. Perhaps you need to dumb it down and stop using complicated words nobody understands. My problem is typing a for s and voce versa. I blame Mr. QUERTY who made sure he would live in infamy. A few years back, some bright soul tried to promote an ergonomic keyboard with a ‘friendlier’ key layout. i learned how to use it, but it gave me carpel tunnel. Meanwhile 20 million typists rebelled. Dianne

  8. Cathy says:

    And the strange thing is I bet we all understood the sentence you wrote towards the end beginning – I understamd their…………….
    Have you seen those plastic/silicone keyboards you can get – one of those would cure the food problem. You could just run the water from the tap over it lol
    Take care
    Cathy

  9. pattisj says:

    I’m glad to learn the issue is the keyboard. However, it has crept into my new tablet! No gaps for food here. Save me a seat!

  10. pegoleg says:

    The there/their/they’re gremlins…there/their/they’re the worst.

    Might want to consider a little hand cream for that scaly rash.

    • Al says:

      I guess I’ll just start typing with gloves. Cleaning it just sounds like so much work. Besides, we can really use the vegetables that grow out of it.

  11. Elisa says:

    lol I call that Tylexia! I have a neurology issue that has me typing backards or hooking the rfonts of words to the ending of other words that I have in my head…seeeeeeeeeeeeee points at tylexia example…

Your turn to write, but please don't be wittier than me. My ego is quite fragile.

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