Big Al’s 10 immutable laws for dogs…..

1. The food is always yummier in the other dog’s bowl.

2. No matter what size your bed is, a dog will always lay in the exact geographical center.

3. That same dog will always lay perpendicular to the length of the bed.

4. The length of time it lakes a dog to poop is directly proportional to the unpleasantness of the weather.

5. The amount of dirt a dog will get into is inversely proportional to the amount of time since their last bath.

6. A dog will always roll in something nasty 5 minutes before company arrives.

7. Five minutes before that company leaves, a dog will drag out your dirty underwear.

8. A game of fetch is never over. Ever.

9. No matter how many chew toys you buy for your dog, your newest shoes will always be their favorite.

10. Just when you get a dog to settle in for the night, you will accidentally step on one of their squeaky toys.

 

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About Al

Retired from a couple of professions, trying my hand at writing about the events in our lives.
This entry was posted in Humorous, Misc and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Big Al’s 10 immutable laws for dogs…..

  1. Obviously, you have been training your dogs. My SIL tells the story of the day her Rev visited and her dog paraded through the living room dragging her underpants. They do like butt-sniffingly refreshing used underwear.

    Also, I know your dogs are more refined but our little girl has a habit of no quite expressing her poop and sometimes, unless I notice it quickly, a bit of residue can be found hanging from her posterior when David takes her for her walk. David never notices these things, even if she jumps in his lap and backs up to his face.

    • Al says:

      Funny! Patty is quick to check on the pups to make sure they have properly handled their bathroom etiquette before they are allowed up on furniture, etc. I’m more in the David camp. Guess it’s a guy thing.

  2. Jane Thorne says:

    They sense your mood and their unconditional love is a gift…I miss having their company and your post is a wonderful reminder….they also get you ‘out and about’ regardless of the weather and help you to natter with other dog walkers, who are very nice people in my experience. Dogs….a healthy life choice. Love you my Bro. xx

  3. pattisj says:

    Aha! The squeaky-toy trap! And the fun begins! You make me miss having a dog.

  4. Bernice says:

    Wonderful piece, Al. My son’s dogs go nuts when I fish around in the plastic grocery bags because they know we’re going on a WALK!

  5. Grannymar says:

    Thanks for the exercise. My facial muscles and head nodding are thankful for the laughter exercise and I am only a dog visitor!

  6. 11. Just when you put your p.j.s on, they will want to go out for a walk
    12. They will not hear you call them at the top of your voice, but they will hear you whisper those special words they know or hear you crinkle paper in the kitchen and want a snack.

    Smiling as I remember, Al… 🙂

  7. pegoleg says:

    Great list! I’m especially impressed by the title; “immutable”??? Swan-ky!

  8. You are SO a dog owner (or dog servant, if we’re being honest).

    11. No matter how comfortable/expensive/conveniently placed a dog’s bed may be, yours is always better, particularly after rules 5. and 6.

  9. This is a finely researched post and I found my head was nodding as I read each post. Somehow, we still love them though, don’t we ?

  10. misswhiplash says:

    Exactly! Have you been living in my house? This is just what happens (maybe not the underwear) but everything else is spot on and with six dogs ..it causes havoc!

Your turn to write, but please don't be wittier than me. My ego is quite fragile.

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